Hey there! This is
Mr. Gnome… GnomeHubs? … Gnome, Esquire?
I’m the husband, whatever you may choose to call me.
As you’ve been reading, we’ve been making CRAZY progress
with our adoption goals, from padding up our savings, to preparing the
application, to picking out furniture and talking about how soon is too soon for any adoption showers our friends or families may offer to host. The
craziest part about it is how our baby feels so close and so far away at the
same time.
As the dad-to-be, I’ve spent the last year thinking about
the practical side of things. Will we
have enough space in the house? Will we
have enough money to pay the adoption fee right away? Will my paycheck be enough for Mrs. Gnome to
stay home with the baby for a while? We’ve
even had to talk about how much of a car we can afford, so that we have space
for the dogs, a baby’s car seat, and all the stuff that goes along with
traveling with a baby and 3 dogs (maybe something about this big). The
consequence? I haven’t spent much time
thinking about how I really feel about this since we first decided to pursue
adoption.
Now, with the goal so close, it’s the first thing on my
mind.
I’m not one to talk about my feelings, or to even let my
feelings show when they’re not “practical.” (I know, ladies. As a gender, men are particularly bad about
this.) Yet, in the last month, I have
faced the looming job of parenthood, illness in my immediate family, and the
loss of a grandfather. When emotions
pound hard enough like a flood against a dam, even my stone-cold façade is
broken from time to time. Everything
from fear of being a bad parent to the excitement to see the smile on my unborn
child’s face seems to run through me lately.
So, in the last month, I’ve become a bit of a worrywart. And a bit of a dreamer. Even a bit of a crier sometimes. I’ve decided my unborn baby has just made me
a little crazy, and I haven’t even met him yet.
(Foreshadowing for what’s ahead?)
Keep following our journey, and you just might hear from me
again. Besides, Mrs. Gnome isn’t the
only one of us planning to be a parent!
