One event that many expectant parents look forward to while waiting for their child is the baby shower. Adopting couples are no different - we want to celebrate the impending changes in our life with our closest family and friends. There is some debate and controversy over whether one should have a shower before or after a match or placement occurs, but ultimately people agree that the couple adopting should be the ones to decide when they would like any shower that may be offered for them to occur.
As I’ve discussed on the blog before, there are a lot of emotions that go into the adoption journey. While you are waiting to be matched with an expectant family, there is a lot of impatience, worry, fear, and wondering. People ask you if you’ve heard anything regularly, which is great - people are keeping us in their thoughts and prayers, and that means a lot to us! But those other emotions can sometimes overshadow the joyful anticipation that is also part of the wait. Even though we aren’t matched, I know that once we ARE, I will still experience fear and worry - will the mother change her mind before she gives birth, after, or not at all? It’s a constant battle to trust the Lord and His plan.
Because of these conflicting thoughts and emotions, thinking about a shower helped me feel a sense of normalcy as I wait to become a mother. Because there is always the possibility an expectant/birth mother may change her mind before she relinquishes her parental rights, I didn’t want to associate any baby items I receive or purchase before bringing MY baby home with a specific situation, in case it doesn’t work out. That is why I decided that if we were offered a shower, I would like it to happen either before we are matched or after the baby comes home with us. My mom and a dear friend offered to throw us a shower, and we decided to go ahead and do it before the holidays, since we don’t know how long we’ll be waiting and the timing could get tricky. The date was set for November 17, 2013.
As the date of the shower drew closer, I began to worry - what if our friends don’t understand having a shower for a baby that’s not even identified yet? What if they judge us for wanting to celebrate and prepare for something that is so uncertain? What if I become too emotional at the shower, or afterward, or whatever?!? All of these worries began to overshadow my excitement once more. Once my family arrived from out of state, and Tyler’s from out of town, I began to settle and just enjoy their company. They are all as excited as we are to welcome this unknown child, and they know our thoughts, anxieties, and why we were having the shower, so that is what mattered the most.
This weekend was the big event, and it was absolutely wonderful! We loved getting to visit with our families before the shower, and seeing many of our close friends’ excitement for us to become parents was great. We had a wonderful time at the shower and were very blessed - there is not much more that we *need* before Baby Dawson makes his or her entrance into our lives. We are so appreciative of everyone’s support - material and emotional. It means the world to us that everyone is rooting for us to become parents, and our child is blessed by your anticipation!