Hey there! This is Mr. Gnome… GnomeHubs? … Gnome, Esquire? I’m the husband, whatever you may choose to call me.
As you’ve been reading, we’ve been making CRAZY progress with our adoption goals, from padding up our savings, to preparing the application, to picking out furniture and talking about how soon is too soon for any adoption showers our friends or families may offer to host. The craziest part about it is how our baby feels so close and so far away at the same time.
As the dad-to-be, I’ve spent the last year thinking about the practical side of things. Will we have enough space in the house? Will we have enough money to pay the adoption fee right away? Will my paycheck be enough for Mrs. Gnome to stay home with the baby for a while? We’ve even had to talk about how much of a car we can afford, so that we have space for the dogs, a baby’s car seat, and all the stuff that goes along with traveling with a baby and 3 dogs (maybe something about this big). The consequence? I haven’t spent much time thinking about how I really feel about this since we first decided to pursue adoption.
Now, with the goal so close, it’s the first thing on my mind.
I’m not one to talk about my feelings, or to even let my feelings show when they’re not “practical.” (I know, ladies. As a gender, men are particularly bad about this.) Yet, in the last month, I have faced the looming job of parenthood, illness in my immediate family, and the loss of a grandfather. When emotions pound hard enough like a flood against a dam, even my stone-cold façade is broken from time to time. Everything from fear of being a bad parent to the excitement to see the smile on my unborn child’s face seems to run through me lately.
So, in the last month, I’ve become a bit of a worrywart. And a bit of a dreamer. Even a bit of a crier sometimes. I’ve decided my unborn baby has just made me a little crazy, and I haven’t even met him yet. (Foreshadowing for what’s ahead?)
Keep following our journey, and you just might hear from me again. Besides, Mrs. Gnome isn’t the only one of us planning to be a parent!