As some of you may know, Mother's Day when you're still waiting to be a mom can be a pretty rough holiday to live through. In the past, church services on Mother's Day have been downright painful emotionally. I absolutely think that we should honor our mothers. I appreciate that my pastor reminds us that there are some people (like me!) who have a hard time on Mother's Day, for whatever reason. Last year on Mother's Day (or maybe it was the year before?), one of the worship leaders at a different campus in our church family (we're a multi-site church!) composed and performed a song about his family's struggle with infertility, and it cut down to the bone. Honestly, I can't even tell you what the song sounded like, the lyrics, anything, because I was a bawling mess as soon as they introduced it.
After that experience, I decided I was done with Mother's Day, church-wise, until I was holding a baby of my own. I do not want to have another (embarrassing) public meltdown. I do not want to focus on my pain. So this year, Tyler and I decided we would skip church. We went camping Saturday night at a nearby lake, and we had a great time. I thought about motherhood, of course, but it didn't have the same sting. I don't know if it was the peace of nature, our decision to expand our family through adoption, God, or a combination of these things, but it wasn't a painful day. There is still a deep longing in my heart to become a mother and be celebrated as a mother, but it doesn't leave me feeling sharp and jagged around the edges.
I participate on an adoption message board, and another of the members posted the following link. It is geared toward women who are waiting to adopt, and it had some great reminders. Visit the link if you're interested: