As some of you may know,
Mother's Day when you're still waiting to be a mom can be a pretty
rough holiday to live through. In the past, church services on Mother's
Day have been downright painful emotionally. I absolutely think that
we should honor our mothers. I appreciate that my pastor reminds us
that there are some people (like me!) who have a hard time on Mother's
Day, for whatever reason. Last year on Mother's Day (or maybe it was
the year before?), one of the worship leaders at a different campus in
our church family (we're a multi-site church!) composed and performed a
song about his family's struggle with infertility, and it cut down to
the bone. Honestly, I can't even tell you what the song sounded like,
the lyrics, anything, because I was a bawling mess as soon as they
introduced it.
After that
experience, I decided I was done with Mother's Day, church-wise, until I
was holding a baby of my own. I do not want to have another
(embarrassing) public meltdown. I do not want to focus on my pain. So
this year, Tyler and I decided we would skip church. We went camping
Saturday night at a nearby lake, and we had a great time. I thought
about motherhood, of course, but it didn't have the same sting. I don't
know if it was the peace of nature, our decision to expand our family
through adoption, God, or a combination of these things, but it wasn't a
painful day. There is still a deep longing in my heart to become a
mother and be celebrated as a mother, but it doesn't leave me feeling
sharp and jagged around the edges.
I participate
on an adoption message board, and another of the members posted the
following link. It is geared toward women who are waiting to adopt, and
it had some great reminders. Visit the link if you're interested:
1 comment:
I had a hard time on Mother's day too, but not as hard as it has been in the past.
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